May 5th, 2008

Dear Ask a Bitch,

~ I met this girl at a bar the other night and we hooked up, so I really like this girl and she likes me but here is the problem, In all the excitement of hooking up, I forgot her name. So when I got her number I just programmed it into my phone and didn't want to ask her what her name is because that would not be good. We have talked a couple times since that night and I just keep calling her pet names, like sweetie and honey, but I know this can't go on forever. She told me that she turns her phone off at 10pm every night so I called her around 11 thinking she would have her name on her voicemail but she didn't. I don't know what to do I mean how can I introduce her to my friends and family?

Signed,
that guy....

Dear that guy,

~ First of all… you’re an ass. Never be that guy! Second of all cop to shit like that immediately any cool chick will understand, she was probably drunk too. Now that you have let it go this long it is going to be harder to cover your stupidity. However this can still be salvaged. Your biggest concern could actually be your salvation. Here is the plan the bitches have devised for you: Make a plan with a couple of friends that she hasn’t met, arrange it with one of them to come early. Have them send you a text or give you a call right before they will be walking up. Make an excuse to leave the room so that you are not present to make the introductions. Then you have your friend text you her name before you return to the room. That way when you come back you can say oh, I see you’ve met ______ insert name here. If this is all way too much your brain to work out properly, try looking her up on MySpace or face book by asking her what her URL is. All is not lost. We are confident that if you follow our simple advice this could all work out to your benefit. Just remember, if you do manage to pull this off without her finding out, Congrats, and good luck. You’ve been given a second chance so don’t blow it!
Love ya bitch,
L&V